1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,461 ♪♪ 2 00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:06,381 [Taylor] I know. [continues indistinctly] 3 00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:08,258 -You are. -[Dakota] Right, right. Okay, Taylor. 4 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,927 Okay, you're-- you're so innocent in all of this. 5 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,387 No, you won't listen. You don't just listen. 6 00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,097 -Okay. -[crying] Listen to me. 7 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,807 No one fucking listens. Just listen. 8 00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:17,643 All I wanna do is feel heard. 9 00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,813 And the person I wanted to be with doesn't listen. 10 00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:24,816 Just listen. No, it fucking hurts. 11 00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:27,444 [Mikayla] I don't think Dakota being anywhere is a good idea. 12 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,404 I don't think he should be at anything that we're at. 13 00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:33,158 I feel like this is just how all of Taylor and Dakota's fights go. 14 00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:36,078 They both don't have any self-control, and they just can't help it. 15 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:39,122 I knew we were doomed from the moment Dakota walked in the door. 16 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,209 I've been waiting around for someone that does-- is not there. 17 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:43,544 You're not. You don't exist. 18 00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:46,296 He doesn't exist, not in you-- he's not you. 19 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:50,133 It's just gonna be someone else. And it fucking sucks. 20 00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:52,636 You're always cutting me down. 21 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,513 You're always saying how much I fucking suck 22 00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:55,931 and how awful the man I am. 23 00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:58,100 Over the course of everything in our relationship, Taylor, 24 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,852 that is all I've ever heard, and that's what's, like, so hard for me. 25 00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,229 It's so tough on me. 26 00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:03,855 Like, that's all I ever hear. 27 00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:06,900 And so, I know what I did. I know I fucked up. I know I broke you. 28 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:09,403 I know I screwed up. I'm not stupid, I know what I did. 29 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:13,198 So, me and Jace head out there to mediate the conversation, 30 00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:17,119 make sure anything doesn't escalate more than it already has. 31 00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:20,539 Then I just feel like a sad, disappointed mother 32 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:24,376 who is watching her child just, like, make all the wrong decisions in life 33 00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:25,460 and ruin her life. 34 00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:29,089 I think it's the part that's so hard is that's also all I've ever heard from you, 35 00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:31,633 is like, "Fuck you. You're a piece of shit. I hate you," 36 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,760 every single day for the last three years. 37 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:34,886 But you know where it's coming from. 38 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,471 -It's literally from just hurt. -[Dakota] I know. 39 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,724 -I'm just hurt. I'm hurt. -I get that. I get that. And I'm-- 40 00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:41,518 You know what? I deserve everything I fucking did. 41 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:42,769 I deserve to hear, too. 42 00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:45,272 I deserve to hear it when it's coming 'cause it's gonna come. 43 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,733 [sniffles] And so, I'm sitting here with you 44 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,484 'cause this is what I-- we think we deserve. 45 00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:53,405 This is what it-- as good as we gets for us. 46 00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,325 I'm trying to move forward 47 00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:58,493 and it's hard. 48 00:01:58,577 --> 00:02:01,079 I want out of this toxic cycle. 49 00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:03,832 But, like, for me, I still, to this day, in therapy, 50 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:07,878 have trouble admitting that I deserve better. 51 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,298 Do I think holding onto Dakota 52 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:16,094 is, like, this wound I'm trying to heal with my biological dad? 53 00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:18,263 Maybe. 54 00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:20,724 [Dakota] I think we both struggle with like-- just like-- 55 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,185 uh, feeling like-- 56 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,063 Yeah, but you, like... 57 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,109 deserve, u-- uh, better. 58 00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:34,363 So, I don't want to see you hurting. 59 00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:37,532 I, I want you to be happy. I want to see you, like, thrive. 60 00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:40,369 And I am and will always be here for you. 61 00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:46,124 I feel sad for both of you 62 00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:48,919 -'cause I want you both to be happy. -[Dakota] Yeah. 63 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,671 [Mikayla] But I think, unfortunately, 64 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,131 and I think you guys both know, too, that it's not-- 65 00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:55,967 -it's not meant to be. It's not. -Yeah. 66 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:57,719 Yep. 67 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,349 Obviously, where it ends is like breaking the cycle 68 00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:04,309 and, like, letting it go. 69 00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:07,479 Because, to be honest, the only person I'm torturing is, like, myself. 70 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,315 I just-- Yeah, I wanna let it go. 71 00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:12,359 Like, I pray, like, every day... 72 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,028 like, just let it go. 73 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:19,616 Um, I just, like, more than anything, I think, at this point, like, we just-- 74 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:25,747 we owe it to our son to, like, really try to work together on moving forward 75 00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:29,751 and just kinda being on the same team... for him 76 00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:31,211 'cause that's all we can do. 77 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:35,632 And we have to do it, like, we're in each other's lives now forever. 78 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:37,467 Yeah. 79 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,845 I would much rather... 80 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:44,975 make it a little bit better than it be awful forever. 81 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,810 Yeah. I agree. 82 00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:50,814 In our situation, if Taylor's not gonna be the one that stops, 83 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,899 like, I'm gonna have to do it. 84 00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:55,444 And I think that's just been really hard for me to do, if I'm being honest. 85 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:58,697 But I just want to be able to, like, co-parent with her 86 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:03,326 and be there for our son together and just make sure he comes first. 87 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,787 And that's, hopefully, the goal. I just-- 88 00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:08,498 Obviously, everything's so fresh, it's harder said than done, but I agree. 89 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:10,959 I want that, too. 90 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,587 I cannot be talking about this over and over again. 91 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:14,671 It's keeping me stuck. 92 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,173 Going out to The Bachelorette, I think, 93 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,300 honestly, in some mysterious way, it was meant to be 94 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,469 because it is gonna break me from that cycle. 95 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:21,553 It's a long time. 96 00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:24,264 That's gonna be the longest stretch I've had probably without Dakota. 97 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,641 I need to do what's best for me, you know? 98 00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:32,063 -[♪ theme music playing] -♪ Come thee saints ♪ 99 00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:34,524 ♪ And come thee sinners ♪ 100 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:38,278 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 101 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,447 ♪ Listen up ♪ 102 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:44,159 ♪ I'm the one you've been dreaming of ♪ 103 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:47,579 ♪ I've got everything you could ever want ♪ 104 00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:51,374 ♪ Try me and you'll see I'll bring you to your knees ♪ 105 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,668 ♪ Baby, you're gonna believe ♪ 106 00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,754 ♪♪ 107 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:04,971 ♪ Lead us not into temptation ♪ 108 00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:08,892 ♪ Lead us not into temptation ♪ 109 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:12,312 ♪ Lead us not into temptation ♪ 110 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,358 ♪ Lead us not into temptation ♪ 111 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,276 ♪ Temptation ♪ 112 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:24,407 [♪ intense music playing] 113 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,911 -[♪ upbeat music playing] -♪ Straight to the top ♪ 114 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:31,498 ♪ The jaw-dropping don't stop ♪ 115 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:35,669 ♪ You give the ooh, I'll give the ahh ♪ 116 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,797 ♪ I know you won't forget it, nah, nah ♪ 117 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,132 ♪ Let me show you what I got ♪ 118 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,634 ♪ Three, two, one ♪ 119 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:46,972 I honestly feel like this opportunity, being on Dancing with the Stars, 120 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:50,642 it's definitely been a lot on me, mentally and physically. 121 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:52,352 But I want to show my kids 122 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,564 it's important to go after their dreams and goals. 123 00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,649 You know, if I can do it, you can do it, too. 124 00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,317 [line ringing] 125 00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:01,236 -Hey, girl, hey! -[Mayci] [over phone] Hello! 126 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,821 Aw, I miss you! 127 00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:08,535 I'm dying right now. 128 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:10,704 Like, I had, like, five mental breakdowns yesterday. 129 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:13,164 Like, I think everything's starting to catch up to me, 130 00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:17,752 especially being away from, like, Zac and the kids all day, like-- 131 00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,754 I think, for Zac, I think what's hard for him 132 00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:22,549 is he's living for, like, The Jen Show. 133 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:25,844 Like, it's-- "I'm just, you know, Jen's husband." 134 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,555 And I know that Jacob feels similarly with that. 135 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:31,558 Jacob's always very supportive, but obviously, in LA, we kinda had 136 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,602 a little bit of a disagreement here and there 137 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:36,187 about how things should work in business and all of that. 138 00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,440 Since then, I think he's been nothing but supportive 139 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:41,026 with not only my career but also, like, me emotionally. 140 00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,278 And, like, when I tell him I feel emotional or burnt out, 141 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:46,531 like, he is the first one there to help me and ask me what I need. 142 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,783 As long as he feels appreciated by you, 143 00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:52,495 this is, like, your moment, and I-- he needs to understand that. 144 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,372 Like, you need that space, you know? 145 00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:55,457 [Jen] Yeah. 146 00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:57,375 Tell me how it's going for you, 147 00:06:57,459 --> 00:07:00,211 like, with the book tour and, like, New York, and-- 148 00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,464 It's so good. It's just, like, exhausting. 149 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:07,218 I'll be back in Utah for, um, yeah, for your event in Salt Lake City. 150 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,470 [Mayci] Love that. 151 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,722 I have my book tour event in Salt Lake next week. 152 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,350 It's been, like, 10 years of compiling material 153 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,018 and writing it down and getting it in a book, 154 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,186 and it's finally here, 155 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,271 and I couldn't be more excited and proud of myself. 156 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:22,108 So, I did the Tamron Hall Show and then I did a virtual podcast, 157 00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:23,276 and I'm just tired. 158 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,444 But it's worth it. 159 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:27,489 Like, I want to get the most promotion for the book as I can, 160 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,866 so it's like, I know I need to grind, so. 161 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,326 Well, is that hard, too? 162 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:34,579 Like, having to, like, retell all those stories from your book? 163 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:37,040 Certain interviews are lighter, 164 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,750 but some of them, like, dig a little bit more 165 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:42,003 and it's like, "Ugh, yeah, it makes me emotional." 166 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:43,630 I cried in another one the other day. 167 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,715 I'm like, "Damn! This is hitting." 168 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:49,427 That's the hardest thing for me to get over with the hurdle of, 169 00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:52,847 you know, the recovering from the abuse is that, um, 170 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,557 I blamed myself for a lot of it. 171 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:57,227 It is painful to revisit all these memories. 172 00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,480 I am glad to do so if it can help just one other person. 173 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,108 And so, that's what I'm really hoping this book will do. 174 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:05,819 Mayci, you're the best. I freaking love you. 175 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,113 -Like, honestly, I miss you. -[Mayci] Yeah. I love you, too. 176 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,322 It's gonna be worth it... 177 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,450 once I win that mirror ball, baby! I'm just kidding. [laughs] 178 00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,995 -[♪ upbeat music playing] -♪ Don't know the speed I lose control ♪ 179 00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,371 ♪ I'm in the fast lane ♪ 180 00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:20,625 ♪ Shaking, shaking, losing your brakes, I'm in the fast lane ♪ 181 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:25,588 ♪ Fast lane, no, you cannot talking back to me ♪ 182 00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:29,259 ♪ Me, going up to my speed ♪ 183 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,969 [Conner] How was rehearsal, babe? 184 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,262 -It was so good. -Yeah? 185 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,723 I feel like today was the first day where I'm like... 186 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,307 specifically for the Samba, 187 00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:38,143 -I'm like, "Ooh, like, I'm grooving." -[Conner] You're feeling it? 188 00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:39,936 -Yeah, like, I'm feeling it a little bit. -[Conner] Should we see-- 189 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,730 -Can we see a little Samba Roll? -Yeah. Of course. 190 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,732 I think it goes... 191 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,860 [Conner] Whoa! 192 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:49,779 [laughs] I like the end. 193 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,575 Dance has always been a part of my life. 194 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:56,161 When I'm dancing, I feel most like myself. 195 00:08:56,870 --> 00:09:01,124 [voice breaking] And so, being able to be in this experience, 196 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,625 I feel like... 197 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:08,089 I've refound something in myself that was missing. 198 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:11,676 Like, something reignited and, like, a light went off. 199 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,178 [phone ringing] 200 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,182 [in British accent] Hello, love. 201 00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,225 [agent] [over phone] I, I don't mean to call you on a Saturday, 202 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,810 but we had to tell you... 203 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:24,355 Christmas Match has officially been greenlit. 204 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:26,775 I have the offer in hand. 205 00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:30,028 You will star, and you will be the executive producer. 206 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,113 -Oh, my God! -No way! 207 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,408 -Whitney! -[screams] Oh, my God! 208 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,660 Holy shit! 209 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:40,163 I've always envisioned this Whitney. 210 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:44,459 I've always had this dream of being an actress in big feature films. 211 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:47,545 This is a movie that is made for TV, so it's a big deal. 212 00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:50,090 Not only will I be an executive producer on this, 213 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:52,425 I am playing the lead role in this feature. 214 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,636 [agent] I told you LA looked good on you. 215 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,972 I feel overjoyed but also overwhelmed. 216 00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:02,477 [agent] I've never seen anyone who puts their mind to something, 217 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,938 go out and achieve it with such strength. 218 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:07,440 I knew you were gonna do this. I'm not surprised. 219 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:10,777 [crying] I'm crying. [laughs] 220 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,112 [agent laughs] 221 00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:13,988 I'm feeling like all my dreams are coming true. 222 00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:15,698 I've never experienced this before. 223 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,659 It's like all these exciting things are happening, 224 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:19,828 but I feel like I already can't catch up. 225 00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:23,039 I'm just-- I'm feeling a lot of anxiety right now. 226 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,125 It's just, like, it's very rewarding 227 00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:28,586 'cause it's like, "Okay, like, the blood, sweat and tears, it's paying off. 228 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,672 Like, for something like that." 229 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:33,758 I don't know what I'm gonna do with MomTok. 230 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,094 I think LA might be our new home base. 231 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,388 -I think we need to consider it. -Okay. 232 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,142 I'm experiencing this fork in the road. 233 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:47,063 It's showing up for MomTok in Utah while also pursuing this dream. 234 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:50,942 The truth is, is I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for MomTok 235 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,902 because that's where it all started. 236 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,113 And I don't really know how to navigate that right now. 237 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:58,324 Your mommy gonna be a movie star! 238 00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:01,619 -[♪ pop rock music playing] -♪ Here we go again and again ♪ 239 00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:06,791 ♪ I can feel my heart breaking ♪ 240 00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:09,586 ♪ Do you hear just what you're saying? ♪ 241 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,755 ♪ Told you, don't humiliate me ♪ 242 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:16,050 ♪ Here we go again and again ♪ 243 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:20,972 Where's Mom? 244 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,683 -I think she's already in here. -Oh. 245 00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:27,770 My slip-up with Dakota in California was a big wake-up call. 246 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,481 But it's no secret that my mom is judgmental, 247 00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:32,192 so I'm nervous to tell her. 248 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,027 Like, I start sweating before the convo starts 249 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,320 'cause I'm just like, "Here it comes." 250 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:36,613 Well, I thought it was gonna be cold today. 251 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:37,697 [Liann] I know. This is, like, me. 252 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,782 -I'm, like, dying of heat. -Take that off. 253 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,492 No, it's a tank top. 254 00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:43,703 You're not allowed to wear tank tops 'cause you're Mormon? 255 00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,831 -Oh, my gosh. -She hasn't worn her garments in years. 256 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,583 -So, why can't you be in a tank top? -It's bull. 257 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,919 -You do not wear your garments. -I wear 'em regularly. 258 00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,922 So, when did you guys get back from LA? Who all went? 259 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,716 All the girls, their husbands, 260 00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:59,469 and then, Mason came, and Dakota. 261 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,221 Chase was supposed to come, but he got sick. 262 00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:02,805 Oh, gosh. Why did Dakota go? 263 00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:05,600 I don't know, 'cause he's a part of DadTok. 264 00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,560 So, I'm not-- I don't call those shots. 265 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,188 [Liann] My hope for Taylor on The Bachelorette 266 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:13,566 is for her to find somebody that she absolutely loves 267 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:17,820 and that is going to be the best partner for her and her kids, 268 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:21,574 and then, that she can truly forget about Dakota. 269 00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,743 So what's-- What went on in LA? 270 00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:27,038 Mm. Nothing really. Just hung out. 271 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:30,250 Me and-- Me and Dakota bitched, per usual. 272 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:33,044 He tells everyone that he wants to be with me still, 273 00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,880 and it's, like, my decision that I don't wanna be with him. 274 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:38,091 So, this is, like, my choice and, like-- 275 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:42,011 True, but at the same time, like, it's my decision because of his decision. 276 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,013 No, well-- Totally. He's to blame. 277 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,348 -[Taylor] Yeah. -But it's still your decision 278 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:48,268 to either be with him and live in a miserable life 279 00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:50,603 and go through all of this trauma all the time 280 00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,105 and always be crying or... 281 00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,189 -Yeah. -[Liann] Yeah. 282 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,108 So, did you sleep with him in-- in LA? 283 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,651 -No. -[Liann] No? 284 00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:57,902 -Why? -I'm just wondering 285 00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,320 -'cause he was there. -No. 286 00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:00,989 -[Aspen laughs] -Gosh-- Why are you laughing? 287 00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:03,199 [Taylor] But why would I ever-- Even if I did, I'm just saying 288 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,369 I would never admit anything to you 'cause of your reaction, just so you know. 289 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,996 I already-- I immediately saw it in your face. 290 00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:11,040 Like, it was disgust. Like, "Did you sleep with him?" 291 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,127 Why in the hell am I gonna tell you anything, if I'm getting that? 292 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,423 She means well. She means well. 293 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,633 With that being said, there's some judgment there. 294 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,093 So, you would think by now, 295 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,012 the approach would be a little bit different 296 00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,972 if she's wanting me to confide in her. 297 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,932 Your reaction and your approach, 298 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:29,892 -I would never tell you. -Okay, okay, Dakota Junior, then. 299 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,936 You're being like Dakota if you're saying that. 300 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,604 -Okay. Not really. -[Liann] You're saying exactly what-- 301 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,148 -You're my mother. -I know, but-- 302 00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,399 You're not a fuckboy. 303 00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:41,571 You're my mother, that's the difference. You're supposed to be my safe place. 304 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,490 I understand that, but we-- I am trying to help. 305 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,785 May-- Maybe I-- I-- Like you said, I don't come across that way, 306 00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,120 but I do try to help. 307 00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:50,705 Not telling you shit because I don't wanna hear it. 308 00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:51,956 I don't wanna hear your approach. 309 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:55,126 I don't wanna hear you yell at me, say I'm trash, I'm stupid, I'm dumb. 310 00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:56,836 When I need help, I'm not calling you 311 00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,839 -because this is how you treat me. -Oh, you don't-- you don't call me? 312 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,758 Taylor, what is wrong with you? 313 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:02,842 You! 314 00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,427 What the eff is going on? 315 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:05,845 What is-- What do I do? 316 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,847 -What do I do? -Your approach to everything. 317 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:13,102 Taylor, at this point, is just trying to dodge what she has done. 318 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,187 She's just lashing out. 319 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,897 -You're my mom! -You're telling-- I know. 320 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,107 -But you should treat me with respect. -I agree. 321 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,525 [voice breaking] In-- In the "Ten Commandments" 322 00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:21,652 does it say, "Honor your kids"? No. 323 00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:24,155 One of the commandments is to "Honor your mother and father." 324 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:25,782 -[Taylor] Okay. -And you're the worst at it. 325 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,450 [Taylor] I think it would be nice 326 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,828 to, like, have my mom not, like, talk about the prayer, bible, this and that, 327 00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,121 kinda just be, like, human with me. 328 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,791 Like, everyone makes mistakes, like, regardless of, like, religion. 329 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,710 Don't you think this is something she acts like that way 330 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:40,463 maybe because of how it's been in the past? 331 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:41,798 But I did sleep with Dakota, 332 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,633 so we'll just get that outta the way now then. 333 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,051 See, and you-- That's so dumb. 334 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,928 -[Taylor] Go ahead, go ahead. -That's so stupid! 335 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,097 -That is-- That is so stupid! -Go on-- 336 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,973 -But that's what she's tal-- saying-- -[Liann] It is. It is stupid. 337 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,643 -Prove my point right here. Go ahead. -Why isn't it stupid? 338 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,395 -Why isn't it stupid? -I think it's stupid. 339 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:58,398 [crying] Why do you think I get mad? 'Cause I don't want you to have fun? 340 00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:01,359 I don't want you to have sex, any of those things? No. 341 00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:05,405 It's to prevent you from all the shit that you go through. 342 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:09,742 I've cried for the last freaking three years. 343 00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,702 But you're not in my shoes. 344 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:14,789 I know. But I've been in your shoes with your biological dad. 345 00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,457 When did you get divorced? 346 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,543 When did you, uh, have two miscarriages? 347 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,712 When did you, uh, have another baby daddy that went after your friend? 348 00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:23,131 Did you experience all of that? 349 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,967 [Liann] I think sometimes Taylor doesn't realize 350 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,970 everything that I went through with her biological dad. 351 00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:32,390 -You have not been in my shoes then. -I've gotten pregnant from a guy 352 00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:35,685 -that was an addict, like Dakota. -'Kay. 'Kay. O-- Yeah. 353 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,688 -Worse. Probably even worse, 'kay? -'Kay. 354 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,606 -'Cause he-- Yeah. -'Kay. 355 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,859 [Liann] But I think that going back to church 356 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,486 and having that foundation, 357 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:48,072 it helped me get back on track. 358 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:52,952 I feel like Taylor would be more grounded if she was going to church 359 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,830 and doing the things that she has been taught. 360 00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,040 You'll sleep with him, and then you'll be like, 361 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,585 -"Oh, he's a disgusting person." -I still hate him. I still think that. 362 00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:02,211 -Stand by that. -So, why do you sleep with him? 363 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,464 -It's called the cycle. You're addicted. -[Liann] But why do you keep doing it? 364 00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,007 You're addicted. It's a cycle. It's a drug. 365 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:08,801 Then why don't you get help to not be addicted to that? 366 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:11,429 The brain is not-- I need to rewire it. It's not okay in there. 367 00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,097 I think that anyone in this world can fucking say, 368 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:15,224 "Taylor's brain is not okay." No fucking shit. 369 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,642 Well, it needs to start getting okay 370 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:19,353 because you're going on The fricking Bachelorette pretty soon. 371 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,064 You think the guys that are going on this show 372 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,108 are gonna want somebody that's like that? 373 00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:25,526 They might be like that. 374 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:26,652 [Liann] I hope not. 375 00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:28,362 [Taylor] I-- I know that I fucked up again. 376 00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:31,240 Right now, I think I just want her as a mom and to have some grace. 377 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,743 But, it's already done, so you can either help me through this 378 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:37,121 or just, like, judge me again and see how far that gets us. 379 00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:40,374 So, you going on The Bachelorette, how do you wanna portray yourself? 380 00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:43,085 Like, this wild pineapple girl on there? 381 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,213 -"Pineapple girl"? What does that mean? -[Liann] You know what I mean. 382 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:47,048 What? Just say it then. Swinger? 383 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,717 -You make your own life. -[Taylor] That's why I'm changing it. 384 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,345 Well, uh-- You better start changing that then. 385 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:54,597 It's like-- You're being contradicting. 386 00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,767 No. Today, I was actually just being straight up. 387 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,352 No, you were being a complete bitch. 388 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,645 Oh! 389 00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,855 -See? There it is! -[Aspen] Oh, there's another one. 390 00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,690 Dude, look at you as a mother! 391 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:05,775 You have no respect. 392 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,485 [Taylor] You just called me a bitch. I don't give a fuck. 393 00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:08,736 I'm not the fucking parent. 394 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,989 -[Liann] Stop talking like that. -I am not the motherfucking parent-- 395 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,242 You just called me a bitch, don't tell me about respect. 396 00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:17,787 Calling you a bitch is nothing compared to the way you treat me. 397 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:19,288 Nothing. 398 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:23,376 Think, uh, we all have some things we need to work on. 399 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,127 -I'm well aware. -Yeah, but Taylor doesn't have 400 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,630 to work on anything 'cause she's fucking perfect. 401 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:30,341 I do think she has worked on a whole bunch, 402 00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,385 -so I don't wanna discredit that. -[Liann] I'm done. 403 00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:33,469 [Aspen] Okay. 404 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,889 In the Mormon culture, it's hard to accept the children's mistakes 405 00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,433 because we're known as, like, this picture-perfect family. 406 00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:42,311 "My child messed up, so now that's a image based on me as a parent." 407 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,689 But for my mom and I, it's very, like, mirroring. 408 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:48,067 Like, I'm seeing something in myself that I don't wanna talk about or acknowledge. 409 00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,986 It's a reoccurring pattern for both of us. 410 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,780 And nothing changes. Nothing changes. 411 00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,330 [♪ upbeat music playing] 412 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,749 ♪ Break it down, break it, break it down now ♪ 413 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,376 ♪ Break it down, break it, break it down now ♪ 414 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:06,586 ♪ Badda badda badda boom ♪ 415 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,754 -[Mikayla] Hi again. -[receptionist] How are you? 416 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:10,339 -Good. How are you? -[receptionist] Good. 417 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,968 Since I've had Lottie, my skin has kind of flipped 180 418 00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,886 and kind of went through a flare again. 419 00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:19,557 And I was recommended to one of the leading stem cell doctors. 420 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:23,144 So, I'm staying longer in LA to get this stem cell treatment done. 421 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,646 -[Whitney] Hello. -[Mikayla] Oh, hello. 422 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,440 [Whitney] How are you? 423 00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:28,983 Oh, good. How are you? 424 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,276 [Whitney] So good. 425 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:33,237 I invited Whitney to come with me to do my stem cell treatment. 426 00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:34,739 It definitely means a lot to me, 427 00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:39,493 especially because when I'm doing any treatments for my health, 428 00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,078 I feel like it's very vulnerable. 429 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:43,456 Whitney and Jace are in a very similar place 430 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,750 having to deal with what happened to me and Conner 431 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:48,919 and the implications that it's brought into our marriage. 432 00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:52,632 So, I feel like we have that shared-- that shared experience. 433 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,885 -[Whitney] Hi. Am I in your seat? -[doctor] Hi. Yeah. 434 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,137 -[Whitney] Yeah. Okay. [laughs] -[doctor] Do you wanna do it? 435 00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,597 [Whitney] Yeah, you want me to do it for you? 436 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:00,806 [Mikayla] I don't know. 437 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:04,268 She's still earning back my trust, so I don't know about that quite yet. 438 00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,021 I don't know if I would trust her to inject that in me. 439 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,148 I had this brand deal in Utah. 440 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:12,151 I was so worried that I wasn't gonna make it to Mikayla's appointment, 441 00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:13,778 but I was able to catch an early flight 442 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:18,032 because I really wanted her to know how important it was for me to be here. 443 00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,493 What do you want me to do? Do you wanna watch something funny? 444 00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:22,161 Do you want me to tell you something funny? 445 00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:23,871 -[Mikayla] No, it's fine. -[Whitney] Okay. 446 00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:26,582 -[Mikayla] I'm good with the needles now. -[Whitney] Okay. 447 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,542 -This isn't your first rodeo. -Yeah. 448 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,836 I'm trying to do it all right now. 449 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,255 I'm trying to get this movie going, 450 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:36,300 Dancing with the Stars rehearsals, brand deals, 451 00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:40,054 and-- and all of these relationships that I've worked so hard rebuilding. 452 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,932 I feel like I'm being spread very thin. 453 00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:45,810 -How are you and Jace? -[Mikayla] Good. 454 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,520 -[Whitney] I love that man. -They're still like-- 455 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:48,979 I know. He's so great. 456 00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:50,272 [Whitney] He's so great. 457 00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,900 It's like-- It's still the therapy stuff. 458 00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,194 I'm like, "Ugh." There's just so much going on. 459 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:59,115 So Jace and I haven't made really any progress 460 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,618 as far as our intimacy in our sex life goes. 461 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,496 He wants me to work through my trauma so we're able to fix that. 462 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:10,376 "When you attempted sexual intercourse, how often was it satisfactory for you?" 463 00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,254 -Um... -[Jace] Mm-mm. 464 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,922 It hurts really bad. 465 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,384 All the health stuff that's happening to me right now 466 00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:19,927 is kind of outta my control. 467 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,637 I feel like I have to give that top priority 468 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,765 because it's hard to focus on anything else 469 00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:28,728 and be motivated to fix anything else while I'm in this state. 470 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,314 [Whitney] So you started going to therapy again with Jace? 471 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:33,941 I did like one or two. 472 00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:36,277 -[Whitney] Okay. -Yeah. And I told them basically-- 473 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,445 I'm like, "I just can't work on"-- 474 00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:39,780 [doctor] Sorry. 475 00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,407 [Whitney] "Shut up." [laughs] 476 00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:44,493 -[doctor] I didn't say that. [indistinct]. -[Whitney laughing] 477 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,537 I'm like, "It's okay, we've said worse to each other." 478 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:47,621 [Whitney] Yeah, we have. 479 00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:50,833 It's nice to have Whitney here and just to have support. 480 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,711 I think it's hard being around Jace right now. 481 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:55,546 Internally, I'm feeling a lot of pressure 482 00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:58,591 just because I know that these are issues that are, like, weighing on me, 483 00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,217 and weighing on Jace, and our marriage. 484 00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:03,012 And it's like, I know I have to fix 'em at some point 485 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:06,223 and... if I don't fix 'em, then our marriage could be over. 486 00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:07,975 [sighs] 487 00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:11,312 -[Whitney] Aw, Mikay. -It's the worst. 488 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:12,813 [Whitney] I'm so sorry. 489 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,524 -[♪ solemn music playing] -♪ If this is what you want ♪ 490 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:21,405 ♪ Then you can just run, oh, run ♪ 491 00:21:22,239 --> 00:21:26,619 ♪ Unlock that door and just run ♪ 492 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,039 ♪ Don't look back no more... ♪ 493 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,248 [knock on door] 494 00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:35,419 Taylor?! Hello?! Where are you? 495 00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:37,296 My room, just straight chilling. 496 00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:38,881 [Jessi/Mayci] Hi. 497 00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:41,050 [Jessi] You have, like, that huge toy room she can play in? 498 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,718 Do you wanna go play with toys? 499 00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:45,012 Oh, okay, we'll go play with some toys. 500 00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:46,180 Mayci was really upset 501 00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:49,183 when I told her I was gonna do Unwell instead of her book event. 502 00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:52,520 Even though Unwell is a cool opportunity and I was really excited about it, 503 00:21:52,603 --> 00:21:54,897 at the end of the day, events like this will come and go, 504 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,066 but my friendship with Mayci means so much to me 505 00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,442 and I would never wanna let her down. 506 00:21:58,526 --> 00:22:00,611 'Kay, wait, what's going on with the book show here? 507 00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:01,737 Do I need to know anything? 508 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,489 I actually got a lot of messages after you posted it. 509 00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:05,241 People are like, "I bought my ticket to fly out..." 510 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,117 -Okay, good. Yay. -[Jessi] So, people from outta state, 511 00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:08,994 -which is cool. -I think it's because this format, I-- 512 00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:11,205 -originally, was not a meet and greet. -Oh! 513 00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:12,748 But now, I think they're changing the format. 514 00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:14,750 It will be a smaller venue now than it was before, 515 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:16,544 -so they can meet me as well. -Smart. 516 00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:18,254 And now the tickets are selling because of that. 517 00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:19,713 -Good! -Yeah. 518 00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:22,174 My book tour event is tomorrow. 519 00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:25,469 I was really stressed about ticket sales, and it all came together. 520 00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:29,014 Jessi is hosting. Whitney and Jen are also flying in for it. 521 00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:31,934 So, I'm really excited to have MomTok's support. 522 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,854 You were gonna tell me something, what was it? 523 00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:36,355 -Oh, no-- -[Jessi] Oh, yeah, what was that? 524 00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:37,982 I mean, it's nothing good news. 525 00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:40,568 It's just, I told my mom, like, about... 526 00:22:40,651 --> 00:22:42,069 -[Mayci] Sleeping with... -About? Wait, about? 527 00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:44,738 Oh, just Dakota. And it was a shit show. 528 00:22:44,822 --> 00:22:46,740 She was asking, she's like, "You didn't, like, sleep with Dakota?" 529 00:22:46,824 --> 00:22:48,284 And I was like, "No." 530 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,452 And I was like, you know, and then I just, like, heard judge-- 531 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,329 I saw her face, and I was like, "You know what? Actually, I did. 532 00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:53,414 I slept with him." 533 00:22:53,497 --> 00:22:56,375 And I was like-- I just, like, told her I don't need to hear it. 534 00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:58,794 Like, I know, I regretted it instantly. I was like, "It's a setback." 535 00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,504 She doesn't und-- She's like, "I just don't get it." 536 00:23:00,588 --> 00:23:03,424 And I'm like, "It's okay. No one gets it. I don't get it." So, I-- I get it. 537 00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:04,592 It's the approach with it. 538 00:23:04,675 --> 00:23:06,635 I was like, "As a mother..." 539 00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:09,346 I just want her to know that "I'm scared to tell you," like-- 540 00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:12,099 Kids rebel more when you can't tell your parents things. 541 00:23:12,182 --> 00:23:14,101 Yeah, and we're way past that 'cause we're older now, 542 00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:16,478 but I'm like, "I just wanna change that for my daughter." 543 00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:19,356 And then she was like, "Oh, so, like, you think, like, I'm a horrible mom, 544 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:21,525 -and you're the best mom." And I'm like-- -That's ego talking. 545 00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:22,860 She took it to another level. 546 00:23:22,943 --> 00:23:25,571 I get her hurt and frustration, I get that. 547 00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:28,073 But it's like, "Well, no wonder I am scared to tell you, 548 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:31,201 like, the approach-- just try to approach it differently." 549 00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:34,747 I feel like that's probably pretty similar for, like, all of our parents. 550 00:23:34,830 --> 00:23:37,082 Like, I don't know about you, but, like, I think I had a similar situation. 551 00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:38,959 Like, I got pregnant, right? Like, my parents thought I was a virgin. 552 00:23:39,043 --> 00:23:41,837 Because I didn't feel comfortable confiding in them 553 00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:43,964 because I was like, "Well, I don't know how they're gonna react." 554 00:23:44,048 --> 00:23:47,468 And like, I think, you know, like, just the culture of the church and stuff, 555 00:23:47,551 --> 00:23:49,261 I was like, "They're gonna freak out." 556 00:23:49,345 --> 00:23:51,430 And so, I didn't tell 'em, like, that I was being abused or anything 557 00:23:51,513 --> 00:23:53,432 'cause I just didn't know what was gonna happen, you know? 558 00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:54,975 And I think my parents-- I'm really close to 'em. 559 00:23:55,059 --> 00:23:56,310 They did an amazing job raising me. 560 00:23:56,393 --> 00:23:58,854 So, it's not even to discredit them, I think it's just the way they're raised-- 561 00:23:58,938 --> 00:23:59,939 And it's, like, the way-- So it's like-- 562 00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:01,982 -It's kind of just changing it over time. -Yes. It is. 563 00:24:02,316 --> 00:24:04,985 I've never really thought about it from Mayci's perspective 564 00:24:05,069 --> 00:24:06,737 of generational trauma, 565 00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:09,990 especially regarding church and how we were raised in our culture. 566 00:24:10,074 --> 00:24:12,868 I, maybe, need to look more into that, 567 00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:16,997 that way, I can maybe be the one to, like, stop it and break the cycle. 568 00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:19,833 I think you're so used to chaos that it is your comfort zone now. 569 00:24:19,917 --> 00:24:23,629 Someone was saying like, I, like, do these mistakes and I must enjoy it. 570 00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:24,880 -I must enjoy the pain of it. -Yeah. 571 00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:26,674 -I think you do a little. -That's what I'm saying, like-- 572 00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:28,926 -We need to fix that. -It's almost as if I don't want it to fix 573 00:24:29,009 --> 00:24:31,011 'cause it's, like, makes me feel, like, off. 574 00:24:31,095 --> 00:24:33,764 [Jessi] This shows me that there is a problem, and she's aware of it. 575 00:24:33,847 --> 00:24:35,099 This is a great first step. 576 00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:36,892 Unfortunately, time will tell. 577 00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,687 -Um, I need to head out. -You're good. I know, I'm sorry. 578 00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:41,063 The boobies are hurting. 579 00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:42,815 I would-- I could talk about this all day, but. 580 00:24:42,898 --> 00:24:44,274 -Well, thanks for letting us come over. -Yes. 581 00:24:44,358 --> 00:24:47,111 I hope that helped you a little bit and didn't overwhelm you more. 582 00:24:49,029 --> 00:24:53,367 -[♪ upbeat music playing] -♪ We are where we're supposed to be ♪ 583 00:24:53,450 --> 00:24:56,495 [Whitney] Oh, my goodness! You the biggest boy in the world! 584 00:24:56,578 --> 00:24:57,830 [Conner] And now we cinch it. 585 00:24:57,913 --> 00:24:59,707 Suck it in, Billy. 586 00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:01,333 You guys ready for a pumpkin patch? 587 00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:02,668 Oh, baby chickens! 588 00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:05,421 [Whitney] Oh, my gosh, there's goats in here, too! 589 00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:07,923 -Try to not step in the poo, though. -[Conner] Billy's like, "What the?" 590 00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:09,967 -[screams] Conner! -[Conner] Oh, he's got your hair. 591 00:25:10,050 --> 00:25:11,552 [laughter] 592 00:25:11,635 --> 00:25:13,971 Conner and I have planned this day to take the kids to the pumpkin patch 593 00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:15,431 and I'm feeling overwhelmed. 594 00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:18,976 I was able to catch an early flight and show up for Mikayla's appointments. 595 00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:22,438 The last few days, rehearsals have been very stressful. 596 00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:24,940 So, it's like I'm playing a game of tug-of-war right now. 597 00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:27,359 So, I'm feeling that mom guilt. 598 00:25:27,443 --> 00:25:30,029 [Conner] I feel like we haven't been able to do stuff like this in a while. 599 00:25:30,112 --> 00:25:33,198 It's fun to get the kids out and do something, like, for the family. 600 00:25:33,282 --> 00:25:34,867 [Whitney] I know. It is. 601 00:25:35,492 --> 00:25:36,577 [Conner] How are you doing? 602 00:25:37,995 --> 00:25:39,329 Oh, babe. 603 00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:51,008 [crying] You know, I haven't done anything for Billy. 604 00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:52,968 I've done nothing. 605 00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:56,597 I'm feeling like the worst mom. 606 00:25:56,680 --> 00:26:00,893 I'm trying to do it all right now, and I feel defeated. 607 00:26:00,976 --> 00:26:02,603 I just don't feel like I've been as present 608 00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:05,522 and have been showing up for my kids like how I would like to. 609 00:26:05,606 --> 00:26:07,566 [Conner] You don't need to worry about that. 610 00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:10,277 I have that covered, I promise. 611 00:26:13,072 --> 00:26:16,075 But I feel like that's just one small thing to a much bigger picture. 612 00:26:16,158 --> 00:26:17,493 What's going on? 613 00:26:17,826 --> 00:26:19,161 No, I'm just overwhelmed. 614 00:26:21,205 --> 00:26:23,373 And I just-- I feel like a bad mom. 615 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:34,927 I don't even feel like I have the energy to go hop on a plane in and out 616 00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:36,470 to go to Mayci's book tour. 617 00:26:36,553 --> 00:26:38,305 You are doing so much, 618 00:26:38,806 --> 00:26:41,642 and with everything on your plate, I imagine it's very scary. 619 00:26:43,393 --> 00:26:44,394 I want to do it all. 620 00:26:45,062 --> 00:26:47,606 The truth is, though, you have a lot on your plate 621 00:26:47,689 --> 00:26:49,274 and it's stressing you out. 622 00:26:49,358 --> 00:26:51,110 And I don't want you to hit a breaking point. 623 00:26:51,193 --> 00:26:55,739 I'm like, of course, like, it's Mayci's event. 624 00:26:55,823 --> 00:26:57,950 So then, I just-- I feel this other pressure 625 00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:00,410 where I'm like, "No, like, I have to make it work. I have to be there." 626 00:27:00,494 --> 00:27:03,163 [Conner] It's okay for you to say, "This is too much for me. 627 00:27:03,247 --> 00:27:06,250 "I can't fly to Utah, 628 00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:08,043 "be there for an hour to two hours 629 00:27:08,127 --> 00:27:10,087 and then immediately fly back to LA." 630 00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:11,964 I think a good friend would understand. 631 00:27:13,132 --> 00:27:14,967 Well, she didn't understand the first time, so... 632 00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:16,760 And you know what? I hope things have changed. 633 00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:21,140 I am feeling a little bit triggered because of what happened with Babymama, 634 00:27:21,223 --> 00:27:22,599 when I didn't show up to that event. 635 00:27:22,683 --> 00:27:27,187 "Whitney, do you still not regret not going to Mayci's Babymama launch?" 636 00:27:27,271 --> 00:27:28,272 Yes or no? 637 00:27:28,355 --> 00:27:31,275 I'm saying no because I'm saying if I didn't make the mistake, 638 00:27:31,358 --> 00:27:33,193 I wouldn't have known how to make it right. 639 00:27:33,277 --> 00:27:35,529 I just feel like I would say, "I regret it, 640 00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:37,781 -but wish I handled it differently." -I get that. 641 00:27:37,865 --> 00:27:40,993 I-- I understand you have this pressure to feel perfect 642 00:27:41,076 --> 00:27:43,787 and I think that's one reason why you're choosing everything 643 00:27:43,871 --> 00:27:45,122 except for yourself. 644 00:27:45,205 --> 00:27:48,584 [♪ dramatic music playing] 645 00:27:52,546 --> 00:27:54,173 [♪ solemn music playing] 646 00:27:54,256 --> 00:27:57,551 ♪ I don't wanna go back to the feeling ♪ 647 00:27:57,634 --> 00:28:00,095 ♪ I was in dark space ♪ 648 00:28:00,637 --> 00:28:03,932 ♪ I count my blessings every day that I was chosen... ♪ 649 00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:05,392 After speaking with Mayci, 650 00:28:05,475 --> 00:28:08,478 I don't want things to be this bad with my mom. 651 00:28:08,562 --> 00:28:11,356 So, I'm trying to heal myself on two fronts right now. 652 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,109 First, I hired a genealogist 653 00:28:14,193 --> 00:28:17,196 to, you know, maybe get more answers about my biological dad. 654 00:28:17,279 --> 00:28:19,740 [on speakerphone] Hi, this is Luana. You, uh, reached out to me 655 00:28:19,823 --> 00:28:22,117 regarding your search for your biological father? 656 00:28:22,201 --> 00:28:23,785 Honestly, I don't know too much, 657 00:28:23,869 --> 00:28:28,498 but what I have is... um, his name. 658 00:28:28,582 --> 00:28:31,376 -He is deceased now, so-- -[Luana] That helps. 659 00:28:32,377 --> 00:28:33,712 So, with my biological dad, 660 00:28:33,795 --> 00:28:35,672 there's been really no relationship at all. 661 00:28:35,756 --> 00:28:37,090 I met him one time when I was 4. 662 00:28:37,174 --> 00:28:40,219 I think, because he was never in the picture, 663 00:28:40,302 --> 00:28:42,095 there's been a lot of issues with relationships 664 00:28:42,179 --> 00:28:43,305 and, like, trouble with men. 665 00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:46,391 And so, I do think it's important to work on that wound. 666 00:28:46,475 --> 00:28:47,601 -Hi! -Hi. 667 00:28:47,684 --> 00:28:49,144 -How are you? -Good. How are you? 668 00:28:49,228 --> 00:28:50,687 Good. Welcome in. 669 00:28:50,771 --> 00:28:52,981 -Thank you. -[Taylor] Thank you for coming today. 670 00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:57,069 And then, my mom and I decided to finally see a specialist. 671 00:28:57,152 --> 00:28:58,362 What I hope to get from it is 672 00:28:58,445 --> 00:29:00,822 maybe just a better understanding of each other. 673 00:29:00,906 --> 00:29:03,784 That way, we can compromise and maybe get along better. 674 00:29:03,867 --> 00:29:05,494 Great. I'll put you and your mom there. 675 00:29:05,577 --> 00:29:07,037 [knock on door] 676 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,121 Come in. 677 00:29:09,164 --> 00:29:10,415 -Hi. -[Hilary] Hi. 678 00:29:10,499 --> 00:29:12,334 -Welcome in, Mom. -[Liann] Hi. 679 00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:15,003 Oh, gosh. So exciting. 680 00:29:15,087 --> 00:29:17,506 -Long overdue, isn't it? -Yes, it is. 681 00:29:18,006 --> 00:29:21,426 I'm Hilary, and I specialize in the mother-daughter relationship. 682 00:29:21,510 --> 00:29:23,762 Did you have expectations or hopes about-- 683 00:29:23,845 --> 00:29:25,639 I-- I do have a question for you. 684 00:29:25,722 --> 00:29:29,768 How does a parent parent their adult kid? 685 00:29:29,851 --> 00:29:32,854 [♪ tense music playing] 686 00:29:33,730 --> 00:29:37,734 And they end up doing the same thing over and over and over, 687 00:29:37,818 --> 00:29:40,445 but then be like, "Poor me, I need to go to the hospital, 688 00:29:40,529 --> 00:29:42,364 "or I need to do this, or I need to do that, 689 00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:45,117 "or I'm feeling miserable, or I'm crying, or"-- 690 00:29:45,534 --> 00:29:48,245 -I mean, how w-- Is that-- -And after that-- and that sympathy, 691 00:29:48,328 --> 00:29:50,872 -like, has dwindled because you h-- -Do I say that to you, 692 00:29:50,956 --> 00:29:53,000 -or you making it up? -No. Can you, can you let me talk-- 693 00:29:53,083 --> 00:29:56,795 tell her, like, explain it to her first and then you can talk to me about it? 694 00:29:56,878 --> 00:29:58,797 Let me do my part and then you can-- 695 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,340 Well, I'm wondering where that's coming from. 696 00:30:00,424 --> 00:30:02,551 Okay. So, everything I've ever told her 697 00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:06,388 has happened, like-- like, exactly how I said it was gonna happen. 698 00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:08,807 "This is what's gonna happen." It has happened. 699 00:30:08,890 --> 00:30:11,518 But here's what I've learned is that daughters need to feel heard first. 700 00:30:11,601 --> 00:30:14,229 You worry about them and you carry that with you. 701 00:30:14,313 --> 00:30:17,316 And I think that sometimes you express your worry 702 00:30:17,399 --> 00:30:20,193 and it comes across, tell me if I'm wrong, Taylor, 703 00:30:21,028 --> 00:30:24,531 as you feel like you're not trusted to make your own decisions 704 00:30:24,614 --> 00:30:27,534 and make solid decisions about your life. 705 00:30:28,035 --> 00:30:31,163 I-- Yeah, I just feel like there's, like, a sense of control there 706 00:30:31,246 --> 00:30:32,748 and, like, I don't want to be controlled. 707 00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:34,833 I do feel like the more I'm controlled, 708 00:30:34,916 --> 00:30:36,376 the more I'm going to do whatever the hell I want 709 00:30:36,460 --> 00:30:38,503 to prove you're not going to control me. 710 00:30:38,587 --> 00:30:40,422 I'm curious if you've thought about 711 00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:42,924 w-- what would it look like if your mom did support you? 712 00:30:43,008 --> 00:30:44,801 I think we'd probably just be a lot closer. 713 00:30:44,885 --> 00:30:47,220 I'd be a lot more open and know that I could go talk to someone 714 00:30:47,304 --> 00:30:50,515 and they would just be like, "I'm so sorry. Like, I-- I hear you. 715 00:30:50,599 --> 00:30:52,184 "That's gotta be horrible that you're going through that. 716 00:30:52,267 --> 00:30:53,769 Like, what can we do?" 717 00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:56,938 I, I couldn't think of anybody at the time that I could do that with, 718 00:30:57,022 --> 00:30:59,649 so I just suffered alone through all of it. 719 00:31:00,067 --> 00:31:02,027 And I knew I had a support system, I'll always have, 720 00:31:02,110 --> 00:31:04,696 but, at the end of the day, I knew the reaction, so I didn't tell anybody. 721 00:31:05,197 --> 00:31:07,783 And I'm not blaming, like, obviously, my other relationships 722 00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:09,826 all on freaking Dakota, but it's like-- 723 00:31:11,328 --> 00:31:12,537 It's miserable. 724 00:31:15,248 --> 00:31:18,460 And at the end of the day, I just want someone to choose me. 725 00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:20,837 [Taylor sobbing] 726 00:31:20,921 --> 00:31:24,424 And I know it's, like, it looks dumb and you feel like you're dumb. 727 00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:26,968 But it's like-- You just, also-- 728 00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:29,221 I think you ha-- you haven't-- you've had your situations, 729 00:31:29,304 --> 00:31:31,056 but you've never had this exact one. 730 00:31:31,139 --> 00:31:33,225 So, I don't expect anyone to freaking get it. 731 00:31:33,642 --> 00:31:36,061 -Thank you for sharing. -Sorry. I'm sorry. 732 00:31:36,144 --> 00:31:38,647 [Hilary] No, don't apologize. It needed to come out. 733 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:40,482 [Liann] I don't know how to express... 734 00:31:45,112 --> 00:31:47,072 like, that empathy. 735 00:31:48,031 --> 00:31:50,867 I am hard on Taylor because I love her, 736 00:31:50,951 --> 00:31:55,288 and I can see some of the traits that I had when I was young. 737 00:31:55,372 --> 00:31:56,832 I struggle with that, 738 00:31:56,915 --> 00:32:01,503 and I don't want her to go through everything that I went through, 739 00:32:01,586 --> 00:32:03,338 and I just want her to be happy. 740 00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:07,551 I loved my first boyfriend, her biological father. 741 00:32:07,634 --> 00:32:08,677 He asked me to marry him. 742 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,345 I could've went and married him, 743 00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:12,305 but he just had, like, an addiction, like-- 744 00:32:12,389 --> 00:32:13,849 And I always put her life-- 745 00:32:14,599 --> 00:32:19,229 Like, I always thought, you know, like, "He's not-- He's not the person for us 746 00:32:19,312 --> 00:32:21,940 because I don't see us happy." 747 00:32:22,023 --> 00:32:24,484 [Hilary] You don't have to have the answers, 748 00:32:24,568 --> 00:32:26,445 you don't have to fix it, 749 00:32:26,528 --> 00:32:28,947 you just need to be there for her. 750 00:32:29,030 --> 00:32:33,243 I love my kids more than anything in this world. 751 00:32:33,326 --> 00:32:35,954 I would give up everything for them. 752 00:32:36,037 --> 00:32:39,332 Like, I have lived my life for them. 753 00:32:39,416 --> 00:32:42,461 [Taylor] Hearing my mom say the sacrifices she made for me 754 00:32:42,544 --> 00:32:44,171 gives me a little bit more perspective 755 00:32:44,254 --> 00:32:46,214 on the way she reacts to certain situations. 756 00:32:46,298 --> 00:32:49,259 And I think, understanding what happened in her past with my dad 757 00:32:49,342 --> 00:32:51,511 is even more important to help me understand as a whole. 758 00:32:51,595 --> 00:32:53,013 You're a great mom. 759 00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:55,432 I can see how much you care. 760 00:32:58,518 --> 00:33:00,228 -[♪ upbeat music playing] -♪ Look at my wrist, look at my clothes ♪ 761 00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:01,855 ♪ Look at my back, follow your bro ♪ 762 00:33:01,938 --> 00:33:04,024 ♪ It's that new wave you riding ♪ 763 00:33:04,107 --> 00:33:05,859 ♪ We sailing this all ♪ 764 00:33:05,942 --> 00:33:07,694 ♪ Take it all in, bring it all back ♪ 765 00:33:07,777 --> 00:33:09,779 ♪ Knocking out goals, nothing but facts ♪ 766 00:33:09,863 --> 00:33:11,990 [Mayci] Today is the Salt Lake City book tour event. 767 00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:14,326 It just feels like a dream that's coming true. 768 00:33:14,409 --> 00:33:17,913 I just feel so incredibly grateful that I had this opportunity to share my story. 769 00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:21,583 And MomTok planned a little brunch to get together before the event begins. 770 00:33:21,666 --> 00:33:24,669 And I'm really excited to kind of hang out with the girls before the tour starts, 771 00:33:24,753 --> 00:33:27,088 and it means so much that they're supporting me. 772 00:33:27,172 --> 00:33:29,090 [gasps] Are you the only one here? 773 00:33:29,174 --> 00:33:32,427 You freaking biatches! Can anyone show up on time ever? 774 00:33:32,511 --> 00:33:33,720 -Hi. -[Layla] How are you? 775 00:33:33,803 --> 00:33:35,263 -Good. How are you? -Are you literally the only one? 776 00:33:35,347 --> 00:33:37,599 -Yes. I've been here for a fucking hour. -Wait, where is ev-- No. 777 00:33:37,682 --> 00:33:39,809 ♪♪ 778 00:33:39,893 --> 00:33:42,521 -Hello! -Wait, that's actually so cute! 779 00:33:42,604 --> 00:33:44,189 You look freaking hot! 780 00:33:44,272 --> 00:33:46,233 ♪♪ 781 00:33:46,316 --> 00:33:48,109 -[Miranda] Hi, baby. -How do I even get around here? 782 00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:49,361 I'm like, "How do I--" 783 00:33:49,444 --> 00:33:50,570 Just gonna-- 784 00:33:50,654 --> 00:33:51,655 You guys, I have an announcement. 785 00:33:51,738 --> 00:33:53,657 This is the official MomTok. Everyone else is out. 786 00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:55,825 [Layla] Yeah. Actually, yeah, can we just vote people out? 787 00:33:55,909 --> 00:33:57,494 Tell her about freaking Whitney. 788 00:33:57,577 --> 00:34:00,413 -[Layla] 'Kay, wait, yeah. -Oh, yeah, Whitney's not coming. Yeah. 789 00:34:00,497 --> 00:34:02,582 Whitney called me last night, and she was, like, crying to me, 790 00:34:02,666 --> 00:34:04,626 and she's like, "I just am so exhausted, I'm so"-- 791 00:34:04,709 --> 00:34:07,087 But two things can be true. She can be exhausted and overwhelmed, 792 00:34:07,170 --> 00:34:08,588 but also still be a good friend. 793 00:34:08,672 --> 00:34:10,131 Also, production paid for her flight. 794 00:34:10,215 --> 00:34:11,883 They had someone at the airport waiting to pick her up. 795 00:34:11,967 --> 00:34:13,635 She just never told them she wasn't coming. 796 00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:15,345 So, she just ghosted her job. 797 00:34:16,012 --> 00:34:19,349 I'm so grateful that Whitney has been showing up for me recently. 798 00:34:19,432 --> 00:34:20,850 But I don't think it shocks people 799 00:34:20,934 --> 00:34:22,519 when Whitney's like, "I'm not gonna show up to things," 800 00:34:22,602 --> 00:34:24,521 just because she does have that pattern. 801 00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:26,439 It doesn't mean that it doesn't still hurt. 802 00:34:26,523 --> 00:34:29,734 Like, I know it still hurts Mayci that she's not showing up for these things. 803 00:34:29,818 --> 00:34:31,278 [Layla] And then Jen's not coming either. 804 00:34:31,361 --> 00:34:32,946 -And then Jen's sick. -[Mayci] Yeah. 805 00:34:33,029 --> 00:34:35,740 Part of me is like, not to be rude, but I'm like, "Is Jen sick 806 00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:37,867 or does she know I hate sicknesses, so she's like"-- 807 00:34:37,951 --> 00:34:39,369 -Shocker! -No, she knows. 808 00:34:39,452 --> 00:34:40,579 She knows that you hate sicknesses. 809 00:34:40,662 --> 00:34:41,997 [Mayci] Part of me is like, "Is Jen really sick?" 810 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,291 I'm not gonna say she's faking it, but like-- 811 00:34:44,374 --> 00:34:47,294 I feel like we've all been-- being very, very, very supportive 812 00:34:47,377 --> 00:34:49,879 -of the girls on Dancing with the Stars... -Yes. Yes. 813 00:34:49,963 --> 00:34:53,133 -But I post for them every Tuesday. -Yep. Yup. 814 00:34:53,216 --> 00:34:54,676 [Layla] I, over the top, like, supporting them 815 00:34:54,759 --> 00:34:56,511 and the fact that they can't even show up for you right now 816 00:34:56,595 --> 00:34:58,263 -is really fucked up, honestly. -Yeah. 817 00:34:58,346 --> 00:35:01,182 I think it's really important that all of us girls support Mayci. 818 00:35:01,266 --> 00:35:04,144 This is literally her dream come true, writing her memoir on her life. 819 00:35:04,227 --> 00:35:07,480 I just feel like this is, like, something that's really, really major for Mayci 820 00:35:07,564 --> 00:35:09,983 that is a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity. 821 00:35:10,066 --> 00:35:12,652 And I feel like missing this is just-- It's not okay. 822 00:35:13,069 --> 00:35:16,031 We can't speak on, like, how exhausting the experience must be. 823 00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:17,157 Like, we don't know. 824 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:19,242 But, like, this isn't just, like, some normal event, like-- 825 00:35:19,326 --> 00:35:20,327 [sighing] Yeah. 826 00:35:20,410 --> 00:35:21,953 And they literally saying they were going. 827 00:35:22,037 --> 00:35:23,830 -Yeah, I know. -So, that's the part that's, like, weird. 828 00:35:23,913 --> 00:35:25,165 [Jessi] Well, and that's what made me feel so bad. 829 00:35:25,248 --> 00:35:28,376 It was like they did that on purpose after you all talked about me not going 830 00:35:28,460 --> 00:35:31,296 -and then made a point of saying-- -I see why you're frustrated, yeah. 831 00:35:31,379 --> 00:35:35,467 I said like-- I got ridiculed for, like, almost not coming 'cause of Unwell, 832 00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:37,510 and I chose to stay 'cause this is more important. 833 00:35:37,594 --> 00:35:40,639 And once you told me how you felt, I was like, nothing matters, you know? 834 00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:42,265 I think, Whitney pointing out 835 00:35:42,349 --> 00:35:44,851 that I wasn't gonna be coming to Mayci's book event to host 836 00:35:44,934 --> 00:35:48,605 and being critical about it was so that she could jump in and save the day. 837 00:35:48,688 --> 00:35:51,399 How do you actually feel about Jessi not going? 838 00:35:51,483 --> 00:35:54,569 I'm not upset. I'm just more like, "Oh, that's-- that sucks." 839 00:35:54,653 --> 00:35:55,820 But can I tell you something? 840 00:35:55,904 --> 00:35:57,656 -[Mayci] Hmm? -You already committed to that. 841 00:35:57,739 --> 00:35:59,532 -Yeah. Yeah. -That's the problem I have. 842 00:35:59,616 --> 00:36:02,827 -Do you need a host? -Yeah, I mean, I'm still like-- I... 843 00:36:03,495 --> 00:36:04,704 I'll volunteer as tribute. 844 00:36:04,788 --> 00:36:05,997 -Would you want to? -Absolutely! 845 00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:09,584 So, it's just kinda funny that roles ended up being reversed, 846 00:36:09,668 --> 00:36:12,170 and I'm here to support Mayci and she's not. 847 00:36:12,253 --> 00:36:15,048 ♪♪ 848 00:36:15,131 --> 00:36:16,508 -Hi. -Hi, how are you? 849 00:36:16,591 --> 00:36:19,135 -Good. Congrats! -Thank you. 850 00:36:19,219 --> 00:36:20,845 -How are you? -[Mayci] Good. 851 00:36:20,929 --> 00:36:23,014 -[Taylor] Yeah? -Everyone's just talking 'cause Whitney-- 852 00:36:23,098 --> 00:36:25,517 You-- You'll find out. Whitney and Jen aren't coming... 853 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,186 I don't really know how that's acceptable at all. 854 00:36:28,269 --> 00:36:29,604 [Jessi] That's what we're saying. I'm pissed! 855 00:36:29,688 --> 00:36:31,856 I just don't like having to ask for support either. 856 00:36:31,940 --> 00:36:34,526 -You know, that's not my personality type. -Well, a real friend would show up 857 00:36:34,609 --> 00:36:36,111 -for their friend, so. -No, I agree. 858 00:36:37,737 --> 00:36:39,656 I have to go, though. I have to go run over there-- 859 00:36:39,739 --> 00:36:41,700 -Wait, go where? -I have to sign books before it starts. 860 00:36:41,783 --> 00:36:43,368 -Oh. -To go sign books. 861 00:36:43,451 --> 00:36:45,537 -So, I'll see you guys over there, okay? -[Jessi] Okay, we'll see you there. 862 00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:46,913 [Taylor] I'm just, like, bugged. I'm bugged. 863 00:36:46,996 --> 00:36:47,997 [Jessi] I am, too. 864 00:36:48,081 --> 00:36:49,791 I do think two things can be true. 865 00:36:49,874 --> 00:36:51,292 I think that Whitney is here for the opportunities, 866 00:36:51,376 --> 00:36:53,837 but I think she did miss those real friendships, too. 867 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,172 Like, obviously, she came back and said, "I'm here for Dancing with the Stars." 868 00:36:56,256 --> 00:36:57,465 So, I'm like, it's not shocking. 869 00:36:57,882 --> 00:37:00,135 I feel like Whitney-- It's not a great look 870 00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:03,138 that she came back to MomTok for Dancing with the Stars. 871 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:06,683 However, people just kept making sure that I knew 872 00:37:06,766 --> 00:37:08,560 that I only came back for clout. 873 00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:10,437 Which is wrong, it was for money. 874 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:12,021 So they use this as a fucking stepping stone 875 00:37:12,105 --> 00:37:13,565 -and then they fucking peace. -[Jessi] Yeah, exactly! 876 00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:15,692 That's what I'm saying. It's not okay. 877 00:37:15,775 --> 00:37:17,527 [laughing] 878 00:37:17,610 --> 00:37:18,695 Let's get that straight. 879 00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:21,197 We wouldn't have all of these awesome experiences 880 00:37:21,281 --> 00:37:23,158 like Dancing with the Stars, and blah, blah, blah, blah, 881 00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:24,993 list keeps going, if it wasn't for this friend group. 882 00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:27,328 And I feel like you can't just be like, "Fuck you, I'm on Dancing with the Stars, 883 00:37:27,412 --> 00:37:28,872 -I don't give-- care about you." -Yeah. 884 00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:32,208 Dancing with the Stars has taken her to Hollywood. So happy for her. 885 00:37:32,292 --> 00:37:33,752 But she's clearly over this, 886 00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:35,503 and that means that she's also over the friendship. 887 00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:38,506 ♪♪ 888 00:37:43,845 --> 00:37:45,764 ♪♪ 889 00:37:45,847 --> 00:37:47,098 She's clearly over this, 890 00:37:47,182 --> 00:37:49,100 and that means that she's also over the friendship, like-- 891 00:37:49,184 --> 00:37:50,518 [Layla] It sucks, though, 'cause I feel like I started 892 00:37:50,602 --> 00:37:51,978 to build, like, a friendship with her again. 893 00:37:52,061 --> 00:37:53,646 And then she just does things like this and I'm like-- 894 00:37:53,730 --> 00:37:56,691 I start second-guessing again. I'm like, "Do you even care?" 895 00:37:56,775 --> 00:37:57,776 -Yeah. -[Miranda] Right. 896 00:37:57,859 --> 00:37:59,736 As an ambitious career woman myself, 897 00:37:59,819 --> 00:38:02,906 I totally understand why Whitney's taking all the opportunities 898 00:38:02,989 --> 00:38:04,282 and wanting to advance her career. 899 00:38:04,365 --> 00:38:05,450 I think it just hurts 900 00:38:05,533 --> 00:38:07,285 that she doesn't care about the actual friendships. 901 00:38:07,368 --> 00:38:09,120 But she got what she wanted, 902 00:38:09,204 --> 00:38:12,624 so I wouldn't be surprised if she never came back to MomTok. 903 00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:14,042 I think we should check on Jen. 904 00:38:14,542 --> 00:38:15,877 -[Jessi] On Jen? -Should we call her? 905 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:17,212 If she answers. 906 00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:20,340 -Hi! How are you feeling? -[Jen] [over phone] Hey. 907 00:38:20,423 --> 00:38:22,759 I'm all the things, bro. [coughs] 908 00:38:22,842 --> 00:38:24,969 I woke up, like, a-- with a fever last night. 909 00:38:25,053 --> 00:38:27,764 I don't know what's going on. I think I caught something. 910 00:38:27,847 --> 00:38:30,725 I'm sad I can't be there. Give Mayci a big squeeze for me. 911 00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:32,018 -[Mikayla] Aw! -[Taylor] I will. 912 00:38:32,101 --> 00:38:34,687 -[Mikayla] 'Kay, well, let's let her rest. -[Taylor] 'Kay, love you. 913 00:38:35,730 --> 00:38:36,856 'Kay, can we talk about the fact, though, 914 00:38:36,940 --> 00:38:38,274 that everyone was pissed at Jen right there, 915 00:38:38,358 --> 00:38:39,776 -and now, everyone's like-- -We're like, "Oh." 916 00:38:39,859 --> 00:38:42,070 Okay, Jen's really sick, I'll-- I'll give her that. 917 00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:43,947 -I'm shocked she picked that up. -Me, too. 918 00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:46,115 She's like, "Hurry, Zac, get the fake IV." 919 00:38:46,199 --> 00:38:48,159 -Just kidding. -[laughter] 920 00:38:50,286 --> 00:38:53,164 [♪ "Boss" by Zed Kenzo playing] 921 00:38:53,248 --> 00:38:55,250 ♪ Show you how to be a boss ♪ 922 00:38:57,168 --> 00:38:58,628 ♪ Show you how to be a boss ♪ 923 00:38:58,711 --> 00:39:00,588 [Jacob] Mayci, you're doing amazing. 924 00:39:00,672 --> 00:39:02,715 I'm gonna go let everyone in. Should I do something funny or crazy? 925 00:39:02,799 --> 00:39:05,009 I want them-- No, I want you to get a video of them, like-- 926 00:39:05,093 --> 00:39:07,679 It's like, "I'm taking a video"-- Say, "I'm taking a video for Mayci." 927 00:39:07,762 --> 00:39:09,764 I want you to go in the line and have them scream and cheer. 928 00:39:10,265 --> 00:39:11,266 [Jacob] You guys ready? 929 00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:14,394 [crowd cheering] 930 00:39:14,477 --> 00:39:15,645 Woo! 931 00:39:15,728 --> 00:39:18,398 ♪♪ 932 00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:24,320 I'm so proud of Mayci 933 00:39:24,404 --> 00:39:28,783 that she accomplished this huge task of telling her story 934 00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:30,785 and-- and getting it out there in this book. 935 00:39:31,286 --> 00:39:33,162 Just knowing the struggles that she's been through, 936 00:39:33,246 --> 00:39:34,873 I just can't be more proud of her. 937 00:39:34,956 --> 00:39:37,375 I'm-- I'm beyond excited for her 938 00:39:37,458 --> 00:39:39,961 and just so happy that she's able to be here in this moment 939 00:39:40,044 --> 00:39:41,212 'cause it's been a long road. 940 00:39:43,339 --> 00:39:44,841 Do they have energy drinks here, you think? 941 00:39:44,924 --> 00:39:46,175 Oh, I'm sure. Somewhere. 942 00:39:46,259 --> 00:39:47,719 [Taylor] This is so cool! 943 00:39:47,802 --> 00:39:50,221 Oh, my gosh. This is, like, legit like a huge auditorium. 944 00:39:50,305 --> 00:39:51,890 -[Jessi] Oh, yeah! -[Taylor] I dunno-- 945 00:39:51,973 --> 00:39:53,266 -[Jessi] You didn't know that? -[Taylor] No! 946 00:39:53,349 --> 00:39:54,851 When do I ever know anything? I just show up. 947 00:39:54,934 --> 00:39:56,728 Hey, Mayci, will you come over by the mirror? 948 00:39:56,811 --> 00:39:58,605 -We'll take a picture. -[Mayci] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 949 00:39:58,688 --> 00:40:00,273 [Taylor] Alright, guys, you ready? 950 00:40:04,485 --> 00:40:05,904 [Jessi] Thank you so much. Love you guys. 951 00:40:07,322 --> 00:40:08,323 [Mayci] Ooh. 952 00:40:08,406 --> 00:40:09,824 Did you think you'd be here last year? 953 00:40:10,325 --> 00:40:11,701 Yeah, it's crazy. 954 00:40:11,784 --> 00:40:13,161 -Love you. -[Jacob] 'Kay. 955 00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:16,331 And now, I'm telling my story to a bunch of people 956 00:40:16,414 --> 00:40:18,416 and it's absolutely so crazy. 957 00:40:18,499 --> 00:40:21,502 And then also, to see all my girls in the front row supporting me, 958 00:40:21,586 --> 00:40:23,755 it just means the absolute world to me. 959 00:40:23,838 --> 00:40:26,090 It sounds cheesy, but that's what MomTok is all about. 960 00:40:26,174 --> 00:40:27,425 It's to cheer each other on. 961 00:40:27,508 --> 00:40:29,802 It's real, it's raw, it's vulnerable, it's funny, 962 00:40:29,886 --> 00:40:30,887 it's everything you want in a book. 963 00:40:30,970 --> 00:40:32,096 And I'm so proud of her. 964 00:40:32,180 --> 00:40:33,556 So, if you'll help me welcome to the stage, 965 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,516 the one and only, Mayci Neeley. 966 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,895 -Woo! -[audience cheering and applauding] 967 00:40:40,563 --> 00:40:43,274 Thank you. [indistinct]. 968 00:40:46,277 --> 00:40:48,363 You can always create your own future. 969 00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:50,156 Your mistakes do not define you. 970 00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,909 And you can do whatever you wanna do. Like, there are no limits. 971 00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:57,705 Yeah. 972 00:41:01,334 --> 00:41:02,919 Ooh, that's a good question. 973 00:41:03,002 --> 00:41:05,588 I think, for me, it was, like, once I met my husband 974 00:41:05,672 --> 00:41:08,633 and that was kind of like-- felt like my happily ever after. 975 00:41:08,716 --> 00:41:11,302 Obviously, the story is still just beginning with that. 976 00:41:11,386 --> 00:41:13,596 But I think, once I met him, I was like, "This is it." 977 00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:15,515 Like, "This is my one day," you know? 978 00:41:20,061 --> 00:41:22,981 When I was 20 years old, living at my parents' house, 979 00:41:23,064 --> 00:41:25,066 single, and alone, and pregnant, 980 00:41:25,149 --> 00:41:28,987 I never would've thought I was going to start my journey of writing a book. 981 00:41:29,070 --> 00:41:31,614 So, I feel like this is a very full circle, pinch-me moment. 982 00:41:31,698 --> 00:41:33,950 And it honestly just doesn't feel real that it's all happening now. 983 00:41:34,033 --> 00:41:35,159 And then, obviously, even the book, 984 00:41:35,243 --> 00:41:36,995 like, this is so full circle for me, right? 985 00:41:37,078 --> 00:41:39,414 So, I think, like, this is it, too. 986 00:41:39,497 --> 00:41:40,915 Like, I think we're always gonna have those moments 987 00:41:40,999 --> 00:41:43,501 where, like, this is, like, what I've been waiting for and it's here. 988 00:41:43,584 --> 00:41:45,712 And as far as what's next, I think we'll just have to wait and see 989 00:41:45,795 --> 00:41:46,879 'cause I don't even know. 990 00:41:46,963 --> 00:41:49,007 I'm just trying to soak in this moment and enjoy it 991 00:41:49,090 --> 00:41:50,842 because this has been a dream of mine for 10 years, 992 00:41:50,925 --> 00:41:52,051 and I'm excited that it's here. 993 00:41:58,808 --> 00:42:00,935 [♪ "Being Good Is Boring" by Jena Rose playing] 994 00:42:01,019 --> 00:42:04,772 ♪ I should get myself some habits that are better for me ♪ 995 00:42:05,356 --> 00:42:07,817 ♪ But being good is boring ♪ 996 00:42:10,695 --> 00:42:12,530 -Hi! -[Luana Darby] Hi. Nice to meet you. 997 00:42:12,613 --> 00:42:14,032 Nice to meet you. I'm Taylor. 998 00:42:14,115 --> 00:42:15,658 -I'm Luana. -Nice to meet you. 999 00:42:15,742 --> 00:42:19,912 I know we spoke on the phone, but it's good to put a face to a voice. 1000 00:42:19,996 --> 00:42:25,084 Today, I'm meeting with a genealogist and I feel very... nervous. 1001 00:42:25,168 --> 00:42:26,836 That's the word I can-- You know? 1002 00:42:26,919 --> 00:42:29,672 Excitement for sure, so I'm like, "Ooh, what's out there?" 1003 00:42:30,173 --> 00:42:31,674 But also, it could be a little unsettling 1004 00:42:31,758 --> 00:42:33,760 because it's, like, something you've always wondered 1005 00:42:33,843 --> 00:42:34,844 or had questions about. 1006 00:42:34,927 --> 00:42:37,472 So, it could be a lot to process if there is information there. 1007 00:42:38,056 --> 00:42:39,932 -[Luana] Are you ready to get started? -Yeah, I am. 1008 00:42:40,016 --> 00:42:41,559 Alright. Okay. 1009 00:42:41,642 --> 00:42:44,479 -So, I took the information you gave me... -Okay. 1010 00:42:44,562 --> 00:42:46,773 ...and I created a family tree. 1011 00:42:46,856 --> 00:42:49,776 We found your father, right here. 1012 00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:53,154 -Okay. -[Luana] Bryan Scott Wilkinson. 1013 00:42:53,237 --> 00:42:55,156 -[sighs] -And there's your mother. 1014 00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,033 And then I found his brother, 1015 00:42:57,116 --> 00:43:01,329 and we were able to contact two of the people on this tree... 1016 00:43:02,288 --> 00:43:04,665 -Mm. -[Luana] ...that are on this side, 1017 00:43:04,749 --> 00:43:06,918 the one side you're looking for, your birth father's side. 1018 00:43:07,919 --> 00:43:09,962 We're gonna go ahead and look at your family tree 1019 00:43:10,046 --> 00:43:11,339 just a little bit here. 1020 00:43:13,049 --> 00:43:14,759 Let's see if I can pull that up. 1021 00:43:14,842 --> 00:43:16,385 Oh, my gosh. 1022 00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:19,097 So, I have two others. 1023 00:43:19,180 --> 00:43:21,432 You have two half-siblings. 1024 00:43:22,266 --> 00:43:23,518 That's crazy. 1025 00:43:24,018 --> 00:43:25,686 Holy shit. I have two other siblings out there. 1026 00:43:25,770 --> 00:43:27,355 I have four siblings. 1027 00:43:27,772 --> 00:43:28,773 Wild. 1028 00:43:28,856 --> 00:43:31,317 I have a lot of questions about my biological dad. 1029 00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,486 Like, did he ever ask about me? Did he ever talk about me? 1030 00:43:33,569 --> 00:43:36,364 Did he ever mention he had a child or multiple children for that matter? 1031 00:43:36,447 --> 00:43:37,657 What happened after the fact? 1032 00:43:37,740 --> 00:43:39,826 Like, where was he involved in those children's lives? 1033 00:43:39,909 --> 00:43:42,829 If he was, his parents, like, what does his mom think about all of it? 1034 00:43:42,912 --> 00:43:44,205 Did she ever want a relationship? 1035 00:43:44,288 --> 00:43:45,581 Why didn't you try? The sister? The brother? 1036 00:43:45,665 --> 00:43:47,500 There's so many questions I have. 1037 00:43:47,583 --> 00:43:49,544 [exhales] That is wild. 1038 00:43:55,258 --> 00:44:00,012 Welcome to the first annual MomTok versus DadTok pickleball championship. 1039 00:44:00,096 --> 00:44:01,806 [cheering] 1040 00:44:04,016 --> 00:44:05,560 [Jessi] Dakota and her did DM. 1041 00:44:06,811 --> 00:44:08,646 This is why I can't trust people. 1042 00:44:09,272 --> 00:44:10,314 This is too much. 1043 00:44:10,398 --> 00:44:12,024 It'd be so easy if I were single. 1044 00:44:12,108 --> 00:44:13,192 You want a divorce? 1045 00:44:13,276 --> 00:44:14,861 -I have news. -Oh, man. 1046 00:44:14,944 --> 00:44:16,696 [Taylor] I'd like to go out there and maybe get some answers. 1047 00:44:16,779 --> 00:44:18,739 [Liann] It could bring lots of emotions up. 1048 00:44:18,823 --> 00:44:21,367 I think this just is really bad timing. 1049 00:44:21,450 --> 00:44:23,202 -[Taylor yelling indistinctly] -First, stop yelling. 1050 00:44:23,286 --> 00:44:24,495 Stop talking and listen! 1051 00:44:24,579 --> 00:44:26,831 [crying] Sometimes I wish I coulda gave you up for adoption 1052 00:44:26,914 --> 00:44:28,416 and maybe you would've had a better life. 1053 00:44:34,130 --> 00:44:38,009 -[♪ solemn music playing] -♪ Better off alone, I think so ♪ 1054 00:44:38,092 --> 00:44:41,053 ♪ What do you want? What do you want from me? ♪ 1055 00:44:42,013 --> 00:44:45,933 ♪ Better off alone, I think so ♪ 1056 00:44:46,017 --> 00:44:48,936 ♪ What do you want? What do you want from me? ♪ 1057 00:44:49,562 --> 00:44:50,938 ♪ What do you want from me? ♪ 1058 00:44:52,106 --> 00:44:55,902 ♪ Better off alone, I think so ♪ 1059 00:44:56,402 --> 00:44:58,988 ♪ What do you want? What do you want from me? ♪ 1060 00:44:59,071 --> 00:45:01,157 [♪ music fades out]